Extensive research had led her back to the same, horrifying conclusion; one she still wasn’t willing to except even with all the evidence staring her in the face.

She knew him—well. Not only did she know him but his family, from a distance but never the less she knew them.

Why hadn’t it clicked from the beginning

Timberlake for god sake. The name was infamous with every ugly name she had ever heard in high school. It was also the source of every tear she had ever shed those four horrendous years.

The hour she’d spent staring at the ceiling did nothing to conceal the hatred she still harbored for, as she called them, the lost years.

The ugly duckling phase, her mother had called it.   

What the hell did her mother know about anything, let alone her own daughter? How could she, being away all the time? Nichelle thought bitterly.  

“You’ll get over it Nichelle, just ignore them.” She looked over at her mother threw burning eyes and plastic rimmed glasses.

“…Mama…I just…I’m not going back to school!” A seventeen year old Nichelle interjected jutting out her chin in stubbornness only to be knocked back down by her mother’s glare.

“Nichelle Rosette Channing you better not be getting an attitude with me.” Ignoring her mothers disapproving tone, she kept going.

“You know, if I were suicidal I’d be dead by now with the way those bastards treat…” Her sentence was cut short by a swift hand. Her mother’s gasp came as quickly as Nichelle’s tears and the arms that wrapped around her.

“Baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, but I won’t have this in my house and you will go to school whether you like it or not. Is that understood?”

Casting her eyes toward the ground Nichelle made a silent vow to herself and nodded. With a grin of approval her mother released her hold and turned leaving a bitter cold in the air.

From then on Nichelle’s heart had frozen over. There was no light in her eyes, only determination and bitterness. She had an empty space that she now continued to fill with work or men.

She knew she could have any man she wanted and she indulged herself most of the time. The only time there was a problem was when the careless and carefree feelings started turning into more. That’s what had happened with Ramir, she thought resentfully. Their two years of relaxed late nights and quiet dinners had turned into something more serious then she’d realized and by time she had, he’d dropped her without a word.

Her first heartbreak, she swore would be her last, left her cynical and cold. Pouring all her emotions into her work ten times harder had made her what she was today, a very successful journalist. So in a way, she thought, she owed Ramir and her mother for showing her the real world.

She wiped harshly at the tears she hadn’t realized had fallen down her cheeks. Baby had made herself comfortable in Nichelle’s lap and she smiled as he stroked the puppy’s soft fur. Looking around, she noticed that her suite was in complete disarray. Newspaper clippings of her and Justin were scattered in every direction. She picked one up and read the caption.

JT Rocks Somebody: Who is the Mystery woman?

Frowning her brow she focused in on the way Justin had stared at her; how his hands had gripped her tightly as if he’d done so before almost––possessively. That was the word that had come to mind. Then she sneered at the thought of becoming his or at least really his. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Instead, she would continue with her previous plan only this time she would not only seduce him but make him fall for her. Hard. Then when he was so wound up in her she would throw out the old age ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ routine; watching him crumble before her.

She would love it.

“Watch out mister Timberlake…” Pushing herself off the floor she picked up Baby and headed toward the bedroom; thinking of what she would wear for their date. “…I’m coming for you.”

********

“Hey Ma I was just calling because I missed you. Tell Lain I love her and I’ll be home next week to give her Christmas present. Okay well I guess I’ll talk to you guys later. I love you Ma. Bye.” Sighing he let the cellular phone slip from his fingers and onto the bed.

He thought, reluctantly, of calling Trace but decided he would have his hands full with the wedding. Kirsten wasn’t going to let her beloved fiancé out of her sight. Rolling his eyes he relinquished his thoughts and headed for the shower.

He needed to clear his head.

Problem was, he couldn’t seem to find a single thing to keep himself occupied long enough to just stop thinking. When he wasn’t thinking about Nicky, the gorgeous woman he’d met the other night, thoughts of his past would creep into his head.

Justin closed his eyes willing away the sudden urge to burst into tears. It wasn’t a mystery. He knew why he worked long hours and slept with everything that walked. He chuckled indignantly tugging the shirt over his head and letting it fall to the floor.

Those goddamn eyes, he thought yanking at the button of his jeans. He’d seem them somewhere and not just on the woman he’d loved and lost but—somewhere else.

Stepping under the spray of the shower he let out a huff of frustration but let the beads of water rain down on him. He closed his eyes, finally relaxed enough to let his mind roam.

“Ah Ha! Hmm, I guess they’re not there…where could they be?” A young woman with flowing dark hair ran around the one story home with a knowing smile. Her search had landed her in the not so spacious living room. Her hazel eyes soaked in the scene before her.

Toys scattered everywhere with the innuendo of a colorful rug and sparkling marble floor gave the room a very homely feeling. The fireplace mantel was decorated with black and white photographs strategically placed in between white candles.

She was floating on the scent of cinnamon and the memories the photos had brought when she heard the first snicker. She turned, whipping her hair into her face and followed the sound with a grin.

“Come out, come out wherever you are!” She sang before pulling open the closet door. A set of screams sounded, one significantly lower then the other, and she was being showered with kisses.

Swinging the tiny fair haired child into the air with a wide grin she stood. “You’re getting so big! Aren’t you? Yes you are!” The woman cooed and took a seat on the cozy egg shell colored couch.

“She has my nose, don’t you think?” She turned her eyes to stare intently at him. She always had a way of looking at you like she knew exactly what you were thinking, he thought.

Contemplating the comment for a moment he spoke. “I guess, but hers is a lot smaller then yours.” He smiled knowing he’d receive a smack for that. And he did.

“I think we’ll just shave her bald because I do not want her to have your mop of a head. I think I might just have to hurl myself out of a window if I have to comb that stuff every morning for the rest of my life.” She laughed at the defeated face her husband made.

“Aw my poor baby, I love you.” She mocked his pout and scooted closer. When their lips connected he knew it would always be this way and went to deepen the kiss. They parted when the baby gurgled between them. Smiling he took her into his arms and planted noisy kiss on her chubby cheeks. “You want some kisses too huh baby girl? Of course you do.”

“I think that means go to work mama. I’ll be back later okay?” She leaned down to give them both one last kiss good-bye. Moving to the door; bag and keys in hand, she could still hear the delighted giggles of her baby and husband.

He’d never told her he’d loved her that last time. She had walked out with a wide smile not knowing it would be her last. He would never forgive himself for not telling her what she’d needed to hear her last hours on earth.

 Sliding down the shower wall he let the water beat down on him as he put his head between his legs. He did the thing he had swore he would never do after her funeral. He cried.

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